Episode 20: My Sexual Partners

I'm going to talk about something that really

Grinds my Gears

Recently I met this guy. He was cool to talk to but we were in the getting-to-know each other stage; not for a serious relationship, but just to get to know each other. So we started off asking the generic questions; where are you from, favorite foods, etc. That's when it happened. This question comes in many forms such as

• How many bodies you got? (I haven't killed anyone)
• Are you sexually ACTIVE? 
• Have many people seen your room? (No, I have a small family)
• How many guys have you messed with? (I don't mess with people, its not nice)
• What type of guys so you mostly go for?

Basically asking, 

"How many SEXUAL partners do you have."

Why are you worried about MY sexual partners if we aren't even remotely thinking about having sex? The reason I don't like answering that question is because in my past, I've put the guys who ask me this question into 3 categories:

1. The You're a Ho Guy: Other wise known as the insecure guy. These guys ask you this question because they assume females have nothing better to do but rate the guys in their sexual history. These guys are usually insecure and don't take the time really get to know a girl because they, themselves don't want to get hurt, so they end up hurting females. These would be the guys who have little sly, nonchalant, usually negative sexual comments. 
• "You would let him hit right? Surprising."

         It doesn't matter if you tell these guy you only had 1 partner or you had 21, they will still react the    same way.

1. The Where Are You Guy: This is the guy who seems to be controlling in a lot of ways. He asks how many partners, how many were boyfriends, how long ago, any one night stands. etc. This guy may ask other questions like; what took you so long, where were/are you, etc. This guy is the most harmful because he would probably do and say the most harmful things. This guy usually comes equip with a short-tailed temper. This guy usually doesn't care how many partners you HAD, but they do care how about how many you will HAVE. They may stick around after things are over to check out your next guy and tell you how whack he is. 

• The Going Going Gone Guy: This is a very broad category. This includes the guys you meet at the club, on the street, basically no guy that was supposed to be taken seriously (Bozo the CLOWN). He asks this question because this is the only thing he is worried about getting, Beware ladies, once you give up the good, this guy is know to flee. They usually show strong feelings in a short period of time; you met them 2 weeks ago but they keep dropping the L-bomb. This is a part of their game though; to get YOU sprung quick so you can give it up. They ask how many partners you had to see if you're easy or not. I'm not saying a girl with 21 partners is easier than a girl with 4 partners but when a "Going Going Gone" guy hears 21, his probability increases in his head. 

I'm not saying EVERY guy I met fell into one or more of these categories, but from my experiences, this is how I've been forced to categorize the guys who ask me this question. There may be a guy who asks me how many partners I had and he may be the perfect guy for me but that's a risk I'm not willing to take.

This is not however, an excuse for a female to hide this information from their perspective partner. I am not telling females to put every guy they meet into one of these categories. I am just sharing my experiences. I do think a female should tell a guy something in the area of how many partners they had

• I do think that sex should be saved until marriage
• I have a past that I'm not proud of.
• I was young and naive

Something along these lines. Don't let too much time go by before revealing this information, this goes for virgins and those who are celibate too. Don't be afraid tell a guys "If you were looking for a good time, I'm not the one. I'm passed/not at that stage in my life." If they walk away, they weren't worth your time. Also, that Going Going Gone guy might see this as a challenge so make sure you follow through with what you say.

Dear Men out there that treat females as equals and not trophy's,
     Thank you for understanding that if you had a past, there's a chance that she had a past. .

Sincerly,
CDotScandal

P.S. Remember, 

your past may always follow you, but don't let it lead you